i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Randomize
