Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
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