i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
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