How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
Randomize
