in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
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