I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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