would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
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