There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
