oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Randomize
