a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Randomize
