here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Randomize
