My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
