Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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