Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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