how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
being pregnant is like rehab
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
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