I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
