I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
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