Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
3 2 1 whiskey
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
Randomize
