No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Dear god my vagina.
I'm having to shit out rocks
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
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