Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
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