Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Randomize
