So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
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