His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Randomize
