I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
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