omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
