Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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