The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
