I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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