ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
I haven't been this sober since birth.
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Randomize
