We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Randomize
