apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Randomize
