youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
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