Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Randomize
