so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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