I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Randomize
