it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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