Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
