sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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