I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
it glows. i had to have it.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Randomize
