Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
They took my balls.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
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