I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
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