how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
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False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
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I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
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