The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
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Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
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