they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
I don't think brook has ever known best
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize