I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Randomize
