I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Randomize
