the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
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I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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