Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
