I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
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