god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Randomize
