How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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