Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
Lo siento on account of my penis...
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
