You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize
