If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
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