you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize