His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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