We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
It's not a walk of shame if you run
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
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