Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
