The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Randomize
