He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
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