Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
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