I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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